Letters To Belarus
by Page of Doom
Summary: When she's not busy chasing Russia around, Belarus will accept your letters! So go ahead, write to her! :D No, seriously. Do it. Because if you don't, she WILL find out. O.o
1. Chapter 1

A/N

I started this because I cosplay Belarus and stuff. During Japanese class the other day, I subconsciously wrote "Natalia *heart* Ivan" on my hand... CREEPY. I showed it to my friend who cosplays Russia and she's like "DO NOT WANT!" XD

* * *

><p>Hello everyone! I, Belarus, shall now be taking letters from my wonderful fans! You, can ask me questions, tell me how to get my big brother to marry me, chat, tell me how I could capture my big brother and lock him up forever, say something completely random and pointless, TELL ME WHY THE HELL RUSSIA WILL NOT MARRY ME!<p>

Sorry, had a moment there. Anyways, write to me, or I shall find you and stab you to death!

* * *

><p>AN

SHE WILL.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

5 reviews! Not bad! :3 Anyways, let's get straight to bussiness.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia. I do own a Playstation, a Wii, and a BluRay player, that all have Netflix on them. And Hetalia is on Netflix. But only Axis Powers. Not World Series. D:

* * *

><p><strong>Hello Miss Belarus!<strong>

**I'm Stratford upon Avon, one of England's towns, and I have some ideas to help you get Russia!**

**#1. invite him out to, say, the cinema, or a theme park. If he says he is busy then say that you're flexible for whenever he's free. Start it off just friendly but it should progress to something more. This could take a couple of dates to complete (I'm only about one quarter of the way there and I've had maybe 5 dates so far…?)**

**#2. he's probably saying no so much because he is scared of you. Try not to ask him to marry you so much and just hang around a bit. Stay over without trying to rape him. That sort of thing. Don't rush it. Get on friendlier terms with him. Find out all his favourites but store them away until there is an appropriate time to use them.**

**#3. Have you ever considered he might be gay?**

**I hope these help a bit (sorry about the last one)**

**Tons of love and appreciation,**

**Lizzy/ Stratford upon Avon.**

Dear Lizzy(Can I call you Lizzy?),

Hello! Thank you for writing to me! As for your suggestions…

#1 Big brother might just think of it as sibling bonding time or something along the lines of that, it might work though!

#2 Why would he be scared of me? I perfectly harmless! I am a bit forceful at times, but I have my reasons!

#3 I know he most likely is. I saw him making out with China the other day… I have yet to stab China brutally for that.

Thank you for your efforts!

-Natalia/Belarus

* * *

><p><strong>Lol my question why marry your brother<strong>

**-Patrich11**

Dear Patrich11,

My question is…. WHY THE HELL NOT?

-Natalia/Belarus

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Belarus,<strong>

**I know, I'm already employed by you. I found Russia, and am currently bringing him back, the escapee. I want to warn you, he has a small dog bite on one of his legs, where Bledri bit him, but he's perfectly unharmed otherwise...**

**I'll send you a chocobo to chase after your older brother on... I just need to see how much a 400+ lb bird would cost to send to you by plane... It's one of the rare flying ones though, so he can't escape you... Even by air.**

**~3 Your Employed Grade-A Hunter (YEAH for short)**

Dear YEAH,

Thank you. You efforts are appreciated.

-Natalia/Belarus

* * *

><p><strong>To: code name, RSIALVR<strong>

**I hope this letter reaches you safely.**

**As per our agreement,my personal safety for your personal needs, I have captured a few photos of VKAMTR and am now ready to send it to you. All of which was taken during the last World Meeting and after. Please do not be alarmed, I did not invade the privacy of his hotel room. I reserve that honor specifically for you. Please confirm the specific date and time for the exchange. I propose %%%% time at %%%% date at %%%%%%%. Please confirm with me if you are able to make it, or if we should reschedule the exchange.**

**While I am unable to take some of your other requests, I am interested in your offer of your personal knives and your voice recordings for edited pictured of VKAMTR with you in them. If you are still interested, please say so and I will try my best to fulfill that request.**

**I would wish to once again remind you, as I do all my clients, that all business dealings are highly classified and in any case of a broken trust, the contracts would be cancelled immediately. I humbly request no knowledge of any dealings to be aired on your part and I shall do my absolute best that it is so on mine.**

**I hope business would still continue well with you.**

**sincerely**

**code name, NTNPPR**

To: code name, NTNPPR

I have no arrangements for the secluded date and time, and I shall be able to retrieve the photos and go along with the trade. Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely

Codename, RSIALVR

* * *

><p><strong>Ah, hello, Belarus! I was wondering what you think of all the pointless yuri fics and doujinshis you apparently star in.<strong>

**Also, I have a suggestion for you. Big brother does not like you, dy? So you stalk him, dy? I suggest you hold Liet hostage until onii-chan is one with you. Use America, Canada, China, England, or any other countries Russia-onii-chan has had affairs/rape sessions with. Mostly use Liet, though**

**-Mattie Williams**

Dear Mattie Williams,

They piss me off. A LOT. Like, I'm going to find those people and stab them a lot. Of course, I guess that's normal for me.

Hold Liet hostage, you say? I like that idea… I'll have to use some of those others, too. Especially China. That brother-stealer DESERVES to be locked up with me for a few hours….

-Natalia/Belarus

* * *

><p>AN

I'm pretty sure the warning from the first chapter still applies... O.o


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Belarus,**

**Thank you for answering my letter~**

**I recently spoke with your capital, Minsk, and found out that Russia-onii-chan refused to help bail you out even though you are right down there with Greece in suckish economy-land! (to Author: look it up on Google News)**

**Well, I showed this to my friend, and she started LAUGHING.**

**That's right, laughing.**

**So I stabbed her with my pencil.**

**Are you proud of me?**

**Love,**

**Mattie Williams**

Dear Mattie,

Брат is being a bit if a jerk…I wish he would help…

Ды, I am very proud of you. Next time, break some of her bones or something…

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Privet Aunty Belarus,**

**It's Alaska. Do you remember me? Папа Россия raised me for a while before giving me up to Америка. He said it was for the best, but Америка rarely comes to see me...ever...Anyway, I've been wondering if you would help me get Папа Россия to play with me again?I promise if you do you get to be my Mama Belarus~. **

**Do you remember the games you made for me when I was little? They were fun, да? I was always very good at tracking down Папа Россия, and I still train with the knives you gave me.**

**до свидания~**

**Anastasia Braginski-Jones**

**State of Alaska**

Dear Alaska,

Прывітанне! Of course I remember you, I could never forget you! It's a shame Alfred won't visit you much… I could always knock some sense into him if you'd like me to. I'll try to get брат to pay attention to you, but he usually doesn't even want to talk to me. Still, I'll try my best, if it's for my favorite niece!

I remember those games. You always were very good at them, and it's good to hear you're still practicing. Do you keep your knives on you? They come in handy if some idiot messes with you.

Lots of Love,

Your Aunty Natalia

**Belarus,**

**Er... hi? Could you please stop stalking my house? Russia only sometimes comes over. He likes China, my big brother! I can`t do anything at all. Maybe I can convince Russia to go on a date with you if you stop stalking my house!**

**Cambodia**

Dear Cambodia,

Няма. Absolutely not. I can't trust China at all, and defiantly not with _my_ brother. I have caught him touching my brother in ways only I am allowed to touch him.

Get those two to stop touching each other so much, then I'll leave you alone.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Dear Belarus,**

**No, thank you. It's fun being able to pet him... At least until I hand him over to you, as par our previous agreements on my contract.**

**~3 YEAH**

Dear YEAH,

I don't mind you petting him, just be sure to not to steal _my _job. I'm sure you know what I mean.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Belarus,**

**I have a few words for you: Tell your brother if he dares sends anymore "help" to my nation due to my financial position, I will take a steak knife and cut off his balls. Capice? ...Is that even spelt right? Kapeesh...capice? Is it Italian? Ahh, I dunno.**

**Whatever. Anyway. Let your brother know. Kay?**

**Anywho...on a lighter note...how're you?**

**Spain**

Dear Spain,

Threaten my darling брат like that again, I dare you. Now why don't you shut up, and go back to be the cheerful, annoying guy you usually are!

And I'm fine, thank you.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**D-dear Belarus,**

**W-will y-you please stop hiring hitmen to kidnap me and bring me to your house? You come and terrorize me and my- er, friends every Thursday, I do NOT need you to bother me on the weekends, also.**

**S-sincerly,**

**Russia**

My dearest брат,

You know, there is a solution to all of this….

MARRY ME.

STOP BEING SO STUBBORN AND MARRY ME.

And, I know what you mean by "friends"… when we're married, we will not have to worry about them, because it will be just me and you forever, and we can destroy anyone who gets in our way~ No mercy for anyone, right my darling брат?

Love,

Your darling sister and future wife

**H-hey, Belarus!**

**Uhhh, well, uhh... I ship Russia/Ukraine and yeah. *shaking* I was wondering how you feel about them (I`m pretty sure I have fellow shippers). *gulp* Uhhh,I think I`ve made you upset with that question but yeah. oh and how do you hide all those knives? **

**P.S: By the time you read this, I have dug my own grave in Antartica and will be buried so no need to hunt me and stab me God knows how many times.**

**P.S. 2: ...S-sorry for upsetting you.**

**-The Shaking Anonymous**

Dear Shaking Anonymous,

If my сястра did betray me like that, I would not show mercy to her. At all. I love her to death, but touching my darling брат is an offense punishable by death, no matter who you are~

And as for the knives, my dress is more practical than it looks. Along with that, I keep a halter on my right leg. But most my knives are hidden in different clever places on my dress.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Hello Belarus,**

**I suggest you hold China and all other countries your brother loves hostage. When he comes to get them, get him DRUNK. Make him sign a marriage contract.**

**-Shadow**

Dear Shadow,

I have tried that several times. The only flaw in the plan is that even with the strongest vodka I can fine, I can't seem to get брат drunk… he has a very high tolerance to alcohol…

**Hi Miss Belarus/Natalja**

**I play Nations(an app on facebook) everyday and people there are so into politics that they accidentally bump on Hetalia while searching for good watch on the 'net. Many of the players who have watched hetalia said you're the only reason they've finished the whole series.[not even for Hungary, just for you!] And seriously, I believe them. Why don't you just make a show that stars YOU and not that ball of laugh Veneziano? I'm willing to kidnap Russia for that to happen. I'm also sending eleven hundred troops of armed zombies if you don't comply.**

**Sincerely,**

**you lovely fan Sadari~**

**p.s. This is not a threat.**

**more p.s. I'm kidnapping Russia even as I write**

**more more p.s. Jalapenos will help me make Russia marry you.**

Dear Sadari,

I actually like that idea. I would gladly take on being the star of the show, even though it would be tiring and I don't know if I would have time for my darling брат… Actually, if it means giving up time with my darling брат, then I just can't. As for the zombies, I've dealt with them before. ((A/N Something that happened on my roleplay account on Facebook.)) so even I didn't want to do it, I would still be fine.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

P.S. I like you, and the way that you think.

**To: code name, RSIALVR**

**I hope this letter reaches you safely.**

**I have just been informed by my helpers that the specified date and time would be suddenly graced by VDKMTR. If we are to meet at the specified date and time, I suggest that we both be dressed anonymously instead of just me. **

**To recognise you, I have sent a particular headband that is unique. I would come to you if I see you wearing it. However, on any case that you seem able to reconised by VDKMTR, I would abandon this meeting and arrange another. Please use the number I have given you. On any case I need to abandon the meet, I shall inform you using that.**

**If you find this too much of a hassle, we could meet at a different time. It is up to you to choose and select a suitable place.**

**I would wish to once again remind you, as I do all my clients, that all business dealings are highly classified and in any case of a broken trust, the contracts would be cancelled immediately. I humbly request no knowledge of any dealings to be aired on your part and I shall do my absolute best that it is so on mine.**

**I hope business would still continue well with you.**

**sincerely**

**code name, NTNPPR**

To: Code Name, NTNPPR

I shall meet you at the specified date and time, I will be sure to dress in a way that VDKMTR shall not recognize me, and I shall be wearing the headband you sent. However, shall I be recognized by VDKMTR, I shall abandon the meeting, and seclude for another.

Sincerely,

Code Name, RSIALVR

**Dear Belarus, **

**I have an idea on how your brother will want to marry you...DATE THE AWESOME HERO. WHICH IS ME! Yeah, he'll totally want you...even if you wouldn't wanna give me up. Cuz once you've tasted the hero, you'll probably wont want that commie ever. And I'm better looking too. Heroes always look better then commies. You and I could go have some burgers and ice cream. Then we could bring a blanket down to the beach, have a camp fire make s'mores and...ya know**

**Love**

**The hero, America**

Dear America,

Actually, that isn't a bad idea… considering брат hates you, and would do anything to get me away from you… A few dates won't hurt.

But I'll have you know, I am doing this for me, not for you.

Fine. I'll act like I've fallen completely in love with you or whatever, at least until my darling брат gets jealous…

Also, please don't be… yourself… if I am going to date you. Your hero complex annoys me, and you should try to eat something other than hamburgers once in a while. Maybe you would like me to cook you something? I cook for брат sometimes, and he really seems to like it.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

P.S. Watch how you speak about my brother. He hasn't been communist for a long while, dumbass.

**To Miss Belarus...**

**Well... I was thinking maybe... just a possible maybe though, but maybe you might wish to consider someone a little less.. related to you? I hear Mr Lithuania has a little of a crush on you...**

**If you really have to go for Russia though, maybe try acting nice with Mr Poland? If you capture Poland, you'll have a wonderful wedding present for him, we all know how much he enjoys partitioning Poland right?**

**If these don't work... maybe try convincing your boss to make an alliance with Russia's boss? Then he'd have to... right?**

**R. Galante.**

Dear Raivis,

I could never even think about touching anyone other than my darling брат… And defiantly not that idiot Toris. The only thing he's good for is his quite easily breakable limbs.

I could not act nice with that annoying girlly-boy… and he doesn't really like me that much, because I "Like, totally hurt poor little Liet for no reason~!" However, capturing him might work.

I am currently trying to get my boss to make an alliance with his boss… so far, I haven't been lucky though…

Love,

Natalia/Belarus

**Dear Belarus, **

**What's with you and knives? Just wondering. **

**Signed,**

**Innocent Little Bishie**

Dear Innocent Little Bishie,

Defense. I have to defend myself, and punish anyone who touches my darling брат…

That's about it.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Dear Belarus**

**Hello. I am Kenya. I understand your plea for I want to marry my big brother, Egypt. I've been taking it slow and he dosen't run away from me,( anymore that is), also punish China for I have to punish Turkey for kissing my sweet brother. Also, what's the best kind of knife you can use? Send me a picture, please.**

**Pleasure writing to you,**

**Brother- obsessed Kenya**

Dear Kenya,

I am going to punish China. Severely. He acts like he's so in love with my darling брат, and I can't allow that.

As for the knife thing, that's my little secret. That, and it's different for everyone.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Hey there, Belarus:**

**Remember me? I'm the nation that ruled your brother for a long time. I'm just wondering how are you doing, that's all. I know that you hated Lithuania a lot even before he met your brother. Anyways, why do you want your brother to become one with you? He's getting a bit scared all the time when you show up, and I'm the one who has to clean up his mess.**

**Anyways, who else should you become one with? I'm already one with your brother because I'm actually his subordinate. Also, would you like to pay a visit to Hungary?**

**Golden Horde**

Dear Golden Horde,

I remember you, somewhat… But anyways, I am doing fine, and thank you for understanding. I really hate Toris… A LOT.

As for my darling брат , why wouldn't I want to become one with him? He's beautiful, and has the cutest smile... and the way everyone fears him… He's also quite patient with me. If it was anyone else acting like I do, he would probably kill them… that's why I'm convinced he must love me…

Няма… I only care to become one with my darling брат…

Visit Hungary? Why?

**Hello Belarus.**

**This is a potential way to catch your brother and get him to marry you.**

** a room that he will definitely walk by and fill it with vodka bottles and sunflowers.(as many as possible of each) make sure to leave the door open so he'll notice.**

** a syringe and fill it with truth serum.(truth serum makes people more susceptible to suggestion)**

** into the room without being seen, and inject the truth serum into him.**

** him to sign the marriage registration form.**

**-an anonymous person**

Dear Anonymous,

That is actually a really good idea… I don't know why I didn't think of that before….

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Hello.**

**My name is Xaria...And I just wonder...What is Belarus like?I sort of want to visit but I want to know more about it before I do.**

**Thanks in Advance,**

**Xaria**

Dear Xaria,

Oh? You want to visit my nation? How nice!

Well, if you're talking about weather… this time of year, it's quite cool… it tends not to get any hotter than 15 degrees (Celsius, of course) but it doesn't go much below 7 degrees… is there anything else you'd like to know?

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

**Belarus,**

**Hi!I'm Camara aka Thailand!**

**Here are some ideas**

** to leave him alone,he'll probably get worried over you not acting regularly.**

** China hostage,i'll help you.**

**,get together with someone he hates,girl.(make sure he knows the plan)Big bro complex,bottled feelings,or just**

**plain jealousy might show.(I recomend America)**

**Bel-chan(C-can I call you that?),I want you to know,that you are my favorite female nation!I hope you'become one with Russia'.If that like,really fails,I am free to talk is too.(I totally support AmeBel!)**

**Signed,**

**Camara Doswaila*Thailand***

**p. hair and dress are so cute!**

Dear Thailand,

Thank you for the ideas.

Actually, Alfred wrote to me earlier today, we've decided to start going out for a bit, at least until my darling брат gets jealous…

What am I saying? _Only _until he gets jealous!

You know what? I like you, feel free to call me what you want. And you need not worry if it fails, because it won't, I promise.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

P.S. Really? Thank you. My сястра helped me pick out my dress.

((A/N AmeBel Is totally an OTP of mine. o3o I made a family for them on The Sims 3. They have a daughter, I named her Anya. THE CHILD IS EVIL, JUST LIKE HER UNCLE IVAN. XD))

* * *

><p><em>So many letters... it took me forever to finish. XD <em>

_Still, I love you guys. XP_

_Oh, and check out my profile for info on requests! _


	4. Chapter 4

**Belarus,**

**Ah...it took awhile for you to answer...is your economy affecting postal service?**

**Gomen ne, I am no longer seen as the you of my group, but rather as somewhat like Japan-sama.**

**I am most certainly not going to break her bones. We are not on the best terms at the moment, and I would hate to put a damper on our already fractured friendship.**

**I still do respect you, Belarus, but I do ship RoChu as my OTP. You probably would not ever marry your brother even if RoChu never existed. He doesn't love you that way and he's scared of you. Russia-san cannot love you in that way BECAUSE he is scared of you. You don't realize this, Belarus, because you're so obsessively infatuated with him to even consider that the future you hope for in your history-wracked mind won't ever come into existence.**

**I await your reply and wrath. You do not know where I am.**

**Cordially,**

**Mattie Williams**

Dear Mattie,

It took me so long to reply because I've been a little busy. I finally had time to reply to all that mail today. I seem rather liked, it took me about an hour to go through and answer all that mail.

I never said you had to break her bones; it's just what I would do. Then again, I don't know much about friendships, considering everyone completely avoids me…

My darling брат loves no one more than me-not even that idiot China-and we will be married soon. I'm even now using Alfred to make him jealous. My love will come crawling to me soon enough, begging me to not be with America, and then I'll finally get my wish. This plan has to work, I know it. And then, when we finally are married, I'll be sure to put our precious Yao-Yao out of his misery. I will win, and then my pain will be over. My darling брат will be mine and no one else's, and anyone who gets in our way will be destroyed. I'll be his _немного подсолнечного, _his little sunflower, forever. I may seem delusional now, but it will work! It has to work! And if it doesn't, I'll just destroy everything that gets between us, even сястра, if I have to... I don't want to hurt her... but if it means being with him...

And you seem to have forgotten my stalking expertise… I could find you if I wanted to.

Sincerely,

Belarus/Natalia

* * *

><p><em>Uh-oh... she's starting to snap... this can't end well... <em>

_Anyways, all my other muses are dead right now... DX I might update my high school AU now... Or start my letters to Prussia thing... Even though he already has several of them, one more awesome letter fic thing won't hurt, will it? XD _


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Belarus,_

_Err.. I was wondering if you could get your Brother away from my house-Aru? He's stalking m-me again-Aru... And I didn't k-kiss him 'back' the other day, h-he suddenly-um- yeah- Aru.._

_-China_

Dear China,

While I refuse to believe you, I will gladly get my brother away from you. And then, after my brother and I are married… perhaps I could put you out of your misery?

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

_Bel-chan,_

_Your Welcome!~_

_Really?Alfred asked you on a 'date'?Cool!Best choice for making Russia jealous!^^_

_Er..thanks for liking me!_

_..Grr..France is on my borders Practice Time!*grabs gun and races outside*_

_Thailand~_

_..I don't speak Russian..your...brother helped you..?erg.._

_Pps.I just changed my name!It's now Suree Sontaya!_

Dear Thailand,

I said yes to Alfred's offer for exactly that reason. My brother will have to come crawling back to me soon… and if not… I have another plan…

Well, you are fairly likeable and not annoying at all.

GET HIM. MAKE HIM SUFFER.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia

P.S.

Ah… sorry, habit of mine. My sister helped me.

Belarus,

_"seems delusional"?_

_Oh, Belarus-san, you are delusional. Your brother complex has led you to take rather...drastic...measures to attain something only one of the two people it will affect wants._

_I am, to say the least, not frightened of you. Practicing martial arts made by Japan-sama on your sorry excuses for hitmen is a pleasant break from just studying them with my sensei._

_As America-san says, COME AT ME, BRO. Or, in your case, it would be, COME AT ME, PSYCO BITCH._

_Cordially,_

_Mattie Williams_

Mattie,

I'm not delusional. I'm in love to the point I would do anything to be with him. And I don't think my plans are drastic at all. And those plans don't matter at all; because once he finds out I'm dating Alfred, he _will _be _begging _for me to come back to him. _Begging for my love. _

And I'm sure you will still be saying that with a knife in your stomach, won't you dear?

"Psycho bitch"? You're just acting like everyone else now. I've grown tired of it, to be honest. Comments like that don't faze me in the slightest anymore.

Sincerely,

Belarus/Natalia

_Dreampaw here! I stole Xaria's account for a little bit. Anyhow... Belarus could you do me a bigggggggggggggggg favor? Kill France for trying to seduce "S XARIA'S YOU BLOODY FROG! Sorry..._

_Xaria is hyper... Altough I think I like the favor she asked you for. Could you also kill England for forgetting Canada? And basically everyone but yourself,your brother, your sister, Canada, and Kumajirou...PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!_

Dear… ah… you two…,

Well, I kill or hurt who I want, when I want. So… we'll see.

Love,

Belarus/Natalia


End file.
